di sini kita bermula
ok. come to a calmer region.
dis line caught me up.. thinking..
-di sini kita bermula-
iv been to a gud skool.d best.iv make my mum proud.my dad.my brother.i knoe he is. even he grumbles alot when mum alwez come and visit me every weekend.but i knoe he's proud of me. the whole family is. dey send me on my very first day. everyone..wif each hope.high hope.bright smile. but im too young to understand. and i let dem down sumhow.im sorry.i'll fix dat up.i promise.
i wus damn terrified.dat day.. so unfamiliar. i can't even go and shower myself. coz im afraid i guess. and mak hv to wait. oh yes, she teman me pg toilet. mandi.. get dress up. and then i wus like holding on to her like a glue, and mak? are u sure im gonna be here for five yrs? i dunno how to iron. i dunno how to wash my clothes. i dunno how to confront d pakcik kantin or watever.. and i'll miss tv. i juz can watch one when im f4.. and the seniors. dey'll like so unpredictable. and sports day. i cried not bcoz im homesick.but bcoz im tired.haha. and my books when im f1 are like a pile of hills. coz i believe out of sight is out of mind. i wus wrong.i dun apply dat nemore. and i dun mind at all, helping my dear grown up sisters wif watever dey ask me too. i luv to do it actually. i nvr had a sister nway. wat else? and der's ed. starter. grad nite. frenship day. d last one however.sigh..bowling trip. eic.archery. surau.naqibah. my wavy f4 honeymoon year. pmr studying late at nite and bcoz of dat, i hv to wear specs. i hate wearing specs.felt ugly. heh. my fault. was't amanah to my eyes. shud have a gud sleep back then n no tangguh in revising which is already my old habit die hard thing..
i wish dat i cud juz lay at d field. close my eyes and hear to d wind. to d leaves falling down. birds soaring up high. and hear to d mighty frongs mumbling scatterly. or play swimming pool after rain or scream to my lungs out wif cheersongs. or juz watch d band ppl or cadets practise.cool.smart. pride. all combine to one.f5.spm.. supper. nyum2. lounge. and all d ppl around me having super powers. myself, a treasurer. im bad in holdind money. worse than worst but ppl juz dun care i guess. dey knoe i'll b responsible if anythng happend.maybe, and i apologize to d batch after me, holding d treasurer post. i left 0sen in d account. sorry.deeply sorry.
oh yeah. chatting. we go wild on d net. meeting unknown ppl dat we admire frm far.. i met sumone too. which i tend to forget now. he's easy to replace but i wud remember him sumtimes when i saw his bear. or watever time dat reminds me of him.but of course,der's no feeling anymore.it's empty. it's gone. it's not like school days anymore. i can talk to him for hours. hundred bucks is like nothnig. it's expensive when im f5. d telephone bills. masyaallah. my mum wus damn worried wif me but i yell back at her.
mayb dat's one of d reason my spm is like one stupid result.ugly, horror and terrible hell. it's not as perfect as adaw or waba or anny or meng or pnut or whoever.. u guys rock. im proud to b ur frens.. and for d rest of d batch who got spm lebeh kurang i am, we'r not stupid. we juz dunno wat we hv done to ourself bck then.. maybe we r wrong. here n der.
but i dun hv a complete definition regarding failure.
it's ok. ini takdir yg sudah pun berlalu. takdir inilah juga yg membawa kita di sini.. bila meninggalkan tempat ini pun aku masih terase mesranya si lembut bayu menyambut aku di kala pertama kali aku menjejakkan kaki di bumi merbah ini.bumi agung. sang mentari tersenyum mempelawa aku untuk mencari erti hidup di sini. di akhirnya aku yg lalai ini yg telah manghancurkan aku sendiri. tapi aku tahu. ada hikmah di sebaliknya. di sini kita bermula. cuma aku hanya terkenang saat indah.suka duka kita yg bergelar kita. kita adalah kita. rindu sungguh nk kembali ke masa lalu.
rindu itu jugalah yg menggigit setiap inci tubuhku utuk menjadi lebih baik.lebih maju.
yg mendesak aku utk membuktikan yg aku bukanlah seorg yg pengalah.
kerna kita mmg yg terbaek. tiada persoalan di situ.
cuma bila dan di mana kita berjaya..itu persoalannya.
kejarlah impian. hidupkan mimpi. bukit merbah sudah jadi saksi. di sini kita bermula....
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