how should i simplify my just now very complicated unreasonable judgement and now, just by borrowing a murabbi's spirit, just by reading, i felt her words really create wonders and make me felt fine,fine, fine.
hv u ever felt so low, u just wanted to stay shallow and sad. u just could not reach anyone. and suprisingly u just put the the best of all listener, out of your, list.. Allah.
yes, im talking bout myself. i find myself so heavy nowdays. true, partly due to my increasing weight, but most of it because nauzubillah, deep down, i felt my ilah is not Allah but me striving looking not alien in front of other makhluk.
i felt so clouded somehow.
why i just could not accept things.
especially on Allah's secret...
Allah hide for a very very goodest reason...
He Knows it of course.
that if we know things that we want to know now,
then its not life anymore.
that's a drama.
and life is not a scripted drama.
it does not need a script.
because Allah is the writer and Allah is the best of all writer!
He is!
Allah hu akhbar..
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
fight
as time goes by.
like the wind blowing the leaves across the street.
i keep wondering when will i be able to be great to do what i wanna do.
being able to control time.
to be able to response correctly.
to know what to say, what to tell.
being flew back to the times i think i would like.
like the time when im a size of a feather,
the time im super rajin,
the time that mum was able to be super than superman,
the time that Abah was not worried of me as im not growing yet,
the time where what friends do and tell u matters,
the time where simple is always not complicated,
and etc wantedness.
which makes me stumble upon a fact that am I questioning takdir?
dear, keep the past as a part of u.
cherish the good moments.
be thankful for the bad ones.
life is not merely only for today.
its indeed a journey.
bekalan untuk hari-hari yang abadi nanti...
lets never give up in fighting our truest enemy of all...
: u knoe who!:
like the wind blowing the leaves across the street.
i keep wondering when will i be able to be great to do what i wanna do.
being able to control time.
to be able to response correctly.
to know what to say, what to tell.
being flew back to the times i think i would like.
like the time when im a size of a feather,
the time im super rajin,
the time that mum was able to be super than superman,
the time that Abah was not worried of me as im not growing yet,
the time where what friends do and tell u matters,
the time where simple is always not complicated,
and etc wantedness.
which makes me stumble upon a fact that am I questioning takdir?
dear, keep the past as a part of u.
cherish the good moments.
be thankful for the bad ones.
life is not merely only for today.
its indeed a journey.
bekalan untuk hari-hari yang abadi nanti...
lets never give up in fighting our truest enemy of all...
: u knoe who!:
transform!
hari ini hari yang agak suam.
tidak sejuk dan tidak panas.
Alhamdulillah.
ada beberapa perkara yg berlegar di pemikiran ana.
semoga segala urusan dipermudahkan Allah. insyaAllah.
pembentukan seseorang individu dalam pemahaman Islam yang sebenar, ana kira memerlukan niat yang perlu selalu diperbaiki dan diasuh.
kemudian, pengharapan dan doa hanya kepada Allah agar dipermudahkan pemahaman dan pengaplikasian dalam menegakkan Islam dalam kehidupan kita sehari-harian.
satu perkara yang perlu juga kita gilap adalah istiqomah dan keberanian kita dalam memperlihatkan sebatinya Islam as the way of life. Agar tidak menjadi tak serupa bikin. Agar tiada disassociation of our religion and our life.
dan bagaimana bisa kita boleh berniat secara tegar, berpaling hanya pada Rab yang Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang dan lebih kuat dari hari ke hari untuk terus beristiqomah dan lebih berani menyelusuri jalanNya yang panjang ini, ana kira, tidak lain dan tidak bukan, hanyalah takwin/pembentukkan yang berterusan di dalam diri kita. (Didiklah jiwa kita melalui proses usrah dan tarbiyyah.)
ana akan sentiasa berusaha untuk memperbaiki diri ana agar dapat juga memperbaiki orang lain. insyaAllah.
seperti jari-jemari kita yang diciptakan yang Maha Bijaksana, tak perlu sama cantik, sama kurus dan sama panjang. Kerna dengan berbezanya itulah dapat kita genggam, dapat kita pegang. Islamnya kita secara total, tidak bermakna kedatangan kefahaman itu memerlukan kita sejak azalinya seorang yang sempurna. Kerna Allah mahu kita mencari dan terus mencari. Carilah hatimu di dalam Al Quran, di dlm solat, di dlm sepertiga malam, dan andai tidak berjumpa juga, mohonlah kepada yang Maha Berkuasa agar diberikan pintu hati yang baru...
(Macam kita jugak. Mungkin kita ada zaman jahiliyyah kita sendiri. Pernah lakukan perbuatan yang tidak berfaedah suatu ketika dahulu. Hmm..satu hari Allah takdirkan kita dapat kefahaman Islam. Apa kita nak buat? Kita gunakan segala perkara yang kita ketahui sewaktu zaman jahiliyyah tu untuk membantu Islam. Mungkin suatu ketika dulu, kita pandai menulis novel-novel cinta yang tidak berfaedah, sekarang kita kita tukarlah pulak. Kita menulis novel-novel islamik misalnya.Tu sebabnya kita kena pandang kelebihan orang lain berbanding kekurangannya. Bila kita jumpa sesiapa pun, kita fikir-fikirkan la cara bagaimana nak bantu dia agar dia dapat gunakan kelebihannya itu untuk Islam.)
( ) petikan drp kak feera :) jzkk.
tidak sejuk dan tidak panas.
Alhamdulillah.
ada beberapa perkara yg berlegar di pemikiran ana.
semoga segala urusan dipermudahkan Allah. insyaAllah.
- niat
- harap+doa kepada Allah
- istiqomah dan keberanian
pembentukan seseorang individu dalam pemahaman Islam yang sebenar, ana kira memerlukan niat yang perlu selalu diperbaiki dan diasuh.
kemudian, pengharapan dan doa hanya kepada Allah agar dipermudahkan pemahaman dan pengaplikasian dalam menegakkan Islam dalam kehidupan kita sehari-harian.
satu perkara yang perlu juga kita gilap adalah istiqomah dan keberanian kita dalam memperlihatkan sebatinya Islam as the way of life. Agar tidak menjadi tak serupa bikin. Agar tiada disassociation of our religion and our life.
dan bagaimana bisa kita boleh berniat secara tegar, berpaling hanya pada Rab yang Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang dan lebih kuat dari hari ke hari untuk terus beristiqomah dan lebih berani menyelusuri jalanNya yang panjang ini, ana kira, tidak lain dan tidak bukan, hanyalah takwin/pembentukkan yang berterusan di dalam diri kita. (Didiklah jiwa kita melalui proses usrah dan tarbiyyah.)
ana akan sentiasa berusaha untuk memperbaiki diri ana agar dapat juga memperbaiki orang lain. insyaAllah.
seperti jari-jemari kita yang diciptakan yang Maha Bijaksana, tak perlu sama cantik, sama kurus dan sama panjang. Kerna dengan berbezanya itulah dapat kita genggam, dapat kita pegang. Islamnya kita secara total, tidak bermakna kedatangan kefahaman itu memerlukan kita sejak azalinya seorang yang sempurna. Kerna Allah mahu kita mencari dan terus mencari. Carilah hatimu di dalam Al Quran, di dlm solat, di dlm sepertiga malam, dan andai tidak berjumpa juga, mohonlah kepada yang Maha Berkuasa agar diberikan pintu hati yang baru...
(Macam kita jugak. Mungkin kita ada zaman jahiliyyah kita sendiri. Pernah lakukan perbuatan yang tidak berfaedah suatu ketika dahulu. Hmm..satu hari Allah takdirkan kita dapat kefahaman Islam. Apa kita nak buat? Kita gunakan segala perkara yang kita ketahui sewaktu zaman jahiliyyah tu untuk membantu Islam. Mungkin suatu ketika dulu, kita pandai menulis novel-novel cinta yang tidak berfaedah, sekarang kita kita tukarlah pulak. Kita menulis novel-novel islamik misalnya.Tu sebabnya kita kena pandang kelebihan orang lain berbanding kekurangannya. Bila kita jumpa sesiapa pun, kita fikir-fikirkan la cara bagaimana nak bantu dia agar dia dapat gunakan kelebihannya itu untuk Islam.)
( ) petikan drp kak feera :) jzkk.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
deep-a-valley
as i consider myself doing one thing that a fren don't like today, which makes me felt bad. hurm.... nvd, i will then try to forgive myself by saying the things that i did good.
i went for OT day. watch tonsillectomy and polypectomy. Alhamdulillah. i help my frens around the audio clinic and speech therapy. got to see @ perform PTA. i fast today. i borrowed timmy my super new unoriginal oren crocs. i borrowed hamidah my green extra tudung. i gave one ringgit to Adam, a 6 year old boy so that he could buy sweets. Am not sure where he parents is due to language barrier. He is a foreigner. Mayb african ppl. i gave a ride to my housemates. i taught my fren one of the the absolute indication for tosillectomy op :
sore throat infection >7 times and 2 weeks on leave/away frm school per year. over 2 years, 5x each. over 3 years, 3x each.
alhamdulillah. Rasullulah have said it, "Berselisih faham di kalangan umatku itu adalah satu rahmat." (Riwayat Al Baihaqi). i appreciate differences. we are all the same eventually, as we all have differences especially in the way we are brought up.
i grow up in a mentality of no fear if you think wut u do is right. even if it dosent seem to fit the rule or norm. sometimes, at times, ppl appear to label me as suka hati. i remember when i was standard 6, i did a karangan bahasa melayu exactly the contra of what the initial points that were given by my teacher. i just felt that i wanted to do sth of my own. and not copy cat what she gave to us primary six students. during my times in Tkc i escape the dragging morning assembly. no offense Pn. R, but i find it a waste of time in my rebellious mind back then. there are times i appear to be offensive, volatile and monster like when it comes to what i think. its been there for quite a time. and to change a godzilla cum human to a angelic like princess would take time. on the outer prospect, i mean. but u could count on my quest as a khalifah. i will keep on improving myself. today should be a better day than yesterday! insyaAllah.
and i realize that sometimes, there are times that ppl do mistakes w/o them knowing it is wrong. Sometimes, there are times i did something to make other ppl easier and happier but it could sometimes, in the times of akward moments, i am being misunderstood but i learn that ppl are big enough to decide on what they think is right for them and no matter how good my intention was, it would not be visible as clashes of principles collided. i learn also the importance of to see the good things in ppl first. i will next time try my best to see any possibilities of the good side first. i will try to understand. i will not let my perception of life, clouds judgement towards other ppl who may not appear to share the same principles that i do.
from now onwards, i will try to be more tolerate. even maybe not so much on my actions as good habit needs time to stay but at least on how i see things and the ppl around me.
insyaAllah....
on the other note, hpy deepavali Parvin and bhav.
i went for OT day. watch tonsillectomy and polypectomy. Alhamdulillah. i help my frens around the audio clinic and speech therapy. got to see @ perform PTA. i fast today. i borrowed timmy my super new unoriginal oren crocs. i borrowed hamidah my green extra tudung. i gave one ringgit to Adam, a 6 year old boy so that he could buy sweets. Am not sure where he parents is due to language barrier. He is a foreigner. Mayb african ppl. i gave a ride to my housemates. i taught my fren one of the the absolute indication for tosillectomy op :
sore throat infection >7 times and 2 weeks on leave/away frm school per year. over 2 years, 5x each. over 3 years, 3x each.
alhamdulillah. Rasullulah have said it, "Berselisih faham di kalangan umatku itu adalah satu rahmat." (Riwayat Al Baihaqi). i appreciate differences. we are all the same eventually, as we all have differences especially in the way we are brought up.
i grow up in a mentality of no fear if you think wut u do is right. even if it dosent seem to fit the rule or norm. sometimes, at times, ppl appear to label me as suka hati. i remember when i was standard 6, i did a karangan bahasa melayu exactly the contra of what the initial points that were given by my teacher. i just felt that i wanted to do sth of my own. and not copy cat what she gave to us primary six students. during my times in Tkc i escape the dragging morning assembly. no offense Pn. R, but i find it a waste of time in my rebellious mind back then. there are times i appear to be offensive, volatile and monster like when it comes to what i think. its been there for quite a time. and to change a godzilla cum human to a angelic like princess would take time. on the outer prospect, i mean. but u could count on my quest as a khalifah. i will keep on improving myself. today should be a better day than yesterday! insyaAllah.
and i realize that sometimes, there are times that ppl do mistakes w/o them knowing it is wrong. Sometimes, there are times i did something to make other ppl easier and happier but it could sometimes, in the times of akward moments, i am being misunderstood but i learn that ppl are big enough to decide on what they think is right for them and no matter how good my intention was, it would not be visible as clashes of principles collided. i learn also the importance of to see the good things in ppl first. i will next time try my best to see any possibilities of the good side first. i will try to understand. i will not let my perception of life, clouds judgement towards other ppl who may not appear to share the same principles that i do.
from now onwards, i will try to be more tolerate. even maybe not so much on my actions as good habit needs time to stay but at least on how i see things and the ppl around me.
insyaAllah....
on the other note, hpy deepavali Parvin and bhav.
hv a blast! :)
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
listen
as time slips by me, i am thankful and grateful that i am move to visit the audilogy clinic and the speech therapy clinic. its so ashame of how easily we took for granted of something as so simple as our ability to talk and hear. i really really felt the heaviness in the heart of the parents who have children with disability of any kind and in case of today, the hearing and talking ability. i really really appreciate how normal i am. Alhamdulillah. for the fact that i could communicate, be understood, hear to music and cartoon shows when small, i am indeed speechless. The boy in the speech therapy clinic had problem in articulating words and its due to his attention deficit disorder. He merely could not sit still, not even for 2 minutes. and for the age of 4 years old, u shud have been able to talk at least , what types of animal, etc.. and look at what i found in the net:
What Should a 4 Year Old Know? by Alicia Bayer
She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time... She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats 6 legs... He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them...
so sweet isn't it?
=) and coming back to adulthood, selamat panjang umur, timmy..... moga jumpe pilot soleh. ooopss. hehehe.
What Should a 4 Year Old Know? by Alicia Bayer
She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time... She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats 6 legs... He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them...
so sweet isn't it?
=) and coming back to adulthood, selamat panjang umur, timmy..... moga jumpe pilot soleh. ooopss. hehehe.
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