its shocking to let urself be trap again with a memory of a camping 10 years ago.. dusun eco resort. i was there when im 12, standard 6. and god, i hate that place but i x remember y.. until one fine day, leadership camp in dusun eco resort 10 years later, 20-22nd March.. errr, i wonder y i hate dis place so much.. and the moment i step down from the bus mengharungi a 45 degree perjalanan maha dahsyat, which i wish Allah provided my trapezius with wings.. and walking to the dorms/rooms/ xde lah camp site.. it struck me.. i was damn lembap 10 years ago. i dun fit into orders yang sounds like 'ok guys, 15 mins lagi ada bla3, or, in 30 mins time i want you to get clean and we'l hae dinner here and her'.. with many ppl in one toilet.. man, i was way out of the place.maybe because it wus my 1st time. and maybe because i just dun feel like following.. i dun feel like moving when i wus suppose to move.. and having 10 years later, leadership camp pula, i dunno why, this feelings of nothing can beat u don unless u allow it is burning inside.. especially after the 45 or 50 degree zalim walk which i thank you puan nisaah for preparing myself for terendak.. 'thak you'.. but its thru dat long trail that i ponder of my life.. i tell myself that i can do it. obviously i can do it. and i relate it to pro exam and responsibilities of being a khalifah.. its hard, no doubt. its difficult, of cousre. but its the climb that matters.. the matter of giving up all ur negative thots and trust urself. yes, i can! sounds like obama dosent it, but its a wonderful experience. being able to mean what you feel and say.. (take deep breath and Allah, pliz let this be a istiqomah in me)
- making sth out of nothing
there are times u are left with decisions.. important decisions that u wish sumone better than urself can make it and realize it to reality.. there are times u are left to wonder, how beautiful the world around u.. flowers and butterflies.. etc. there are times u get jealous of other ppl's kelebihan and hope that u'll have sum of deir traits without realizing that wuts more importnt in life is excepting the fact that tak semua yang kita nak, kita dapat.. sebab tak semua yang kita nak itu adalah yang terbaik untuk kita, bagi ALLAH.. ya ALLAH, kalau itu yang terbaik bagi Mu, aku redha yaALLAH.. kalau itu yg terbaik..
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