interesting.
left my hp at home. and nzri had left me infront of clinic. omg.
and another omg when there is no one in the ward!
am i dreaming? nope.
at 10, mdhs and the clan wus arnd.
and i did hv a gud day in the f ward. am still not goin yet to m ward sbb paranoid? hurm..
need to break the barrier soon as well as visit the wisma kayu asap as well as dig out more infos for role play for this coming community project!
yee ha. life is busy again! =)
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
terima kasih day
terima kasih.terima kasih.terima kasih.
went to see Musical Tun M today with abh n mk.
serious, i cried towards the end. those days when Tun M resign as PM.
why?
am not sure.
but i could feel his lost hope towards us, Malays.
he mention about sick ppl only needed tongkat, but the Malay, wanted 'tongkat' even if they were not sick.
and indeed i cried due to how true his words was.
where are we?
infrastruktur kelas pertama, tapi minda kelas ketiga?
of course it includes me as a citizen. as a Malay.
im not generalizing everyone.
its that, the fact the we are the majority but minoriti in achievement is something that we must be worried of!
Tun Siti Hasmah came to CUCMS today.
i thought and assume that its going to be another boring speech and advise
but i wus suprised by how wrong i was...
her speech was very very simple and easy to absorb and practise.
its about medicine and the challenges+opportunities.
and i did asked during Q&A session.
what, where and how did Tun Hasmah gain her strength as previously a doctor and then a wife and an ex first lady of Msia?
and her answers? was simply sweet and cool!
1) be among young minds
2) use your minds , stimulate it frequently
3) bila makan , rasa dah sedap dah tuh, berhenti! (her mother in law's actually)
4) exercise. don't hv to be aerobic but jusr walk! just walk...
and during the end of her speech, we had some salam-salam and i would not forget when she said this to me, as we are near about only 2 inches away:
where r u from?
Ampang only.
Ampang only??? it does not matter where u come from! say, i am frm Ampang! thats it.
omg. is this a 80+ old lady talking to me?
yes.
and she indeed does not look like 80+.
serious..
p/s: on the another note, was sentap by prof najib remark of my comment, had slight uneasiness of the intestines but not to the point u cn diagnose me as diarrhoea, had slight dizziness due to makan daging as i m not use to eat certain kind of meat (based on observation) and lastly, the peak of the day; TAYAR PANCIT. OMG. SORI MYVI SYG. thanx lori batu muatan berats.
i syg u!
sabar sahaja. iA hikmah ada. mmg ada. sentiasa ada ;)
went to see Musical Tun M today with abh n mk.
serious, i cried towards the end. those days when Tun M resign as PM.
why?
am not sure.
but i could feel his lost hope towards us, Malays.
he mention about sick ppl only needed tongkat, but the Malay, wanted 'tongkat' even if they were not sick.
and indeed i cried due to how true his words was.
where are we?
infrastruktur kelas pertama, tapi minda kelas ketiga?
of course it includes me as a citizen. as a Malay.
im not generalizing everyone.
its that, the fact the we are the majority but minoriti in achievement is something that we must be worried of!
Tun Siti Hasmah came to CUCMS today.
i thought and assume that its going to be another boring speech and advise
but i wus suprised by how wrong i was...
her speech was very very simple and easy to absorb and practise.
its about medicine and the challenges+opportunities.
and i did asked during Q&A session.
what, where and how did Tun Hasmah gain her strength as previously a doctor and then a wife and an ex first lady of Msia?
and her answers? was simply sweet and cool!
1) be among young minds
2) use your minds , stimulate it frequently
3) bila makan , rasa dah sedap dah tuh, berhenti! (her mother in law's actually)
4) exercise. don't hv to be aerobic but jusr walk! just walk...
and during the end of her speech, we had some salam-salam and i would not forget when she said this to me, as we are near about only 2 inches away:
where r u from?
Ampang only.
Ampang only??? it does not matter where u come from! say, i am frm Ampang! thats it.
omg. is this a 80+ old lady talking to me?
yes.
and she indeed does not look like 80+.
serious..
p/s: on the another note, was sentap by prof najib remark of my comment, had slight uneasiness of the intestines but not to the point u cn diagnose me as diarrhoea, had slight dizziness due to makan daging as i m not use to eat certain kind of meat (based on observation) and lastly, the peak of the day; TAYAR PANCIT. OMG. SORI MYVI SYG. thanx lori batu muatan berats.
i syg u!
sabar sahaja. iA hikmah ada. mmg ada. sentiasa ada ;)
Saturday, September 25, 2010
smileee
mix feelings.
collision of thoughts.
one day im fine. one day im not.
im searching for Allah in every inch of my heart.
afraid that i wont find Him.that im lost.
but our creator is always der. always.
no matter when u feel that life is heavy that it will crush u to pieces.
or if its so bright that u feel numb and cold.
even its so colorful but yet to ur eyes, its just another black n white.
happiness surrounds u.
dwelling to our deepest past.
and sumhow we are left with a tinge of fear.
fear of being abandone.
fear of being alone and lonely.
fear of sleeping and waking up with no one around us.
sounds like panic attack ey.
but having anxiety disorder is far more worth than having a silent struggle in u.
a struggle so huge that u wish it will dissapear right now in any how.
looking at the past. at the lies.
i blame no one at the end.
because in the end, its like blaming God.
who am i to question His decision.
His decision is the best. n believe it!
i choose to settle down.
i choose to live for my creator's pleasure.
i wish these eyes of mine could see only the goodness of other creations.
but at the same time this soul stay guard of other evils that may love to see
us destroy. bit by bit. and nonetheless, all wont happen by Allah's permission.
so, why afraid?
why the sad face?
la tahzan.Allah is near.closer than close.
insyaAllah:)
collision of thoughts.
one day im fine. one day im not.
im searching for Allah in every inch of my heart.
afraid that i wont find Him.that im lost.
but our creator is always der. always.
no matter when u feel that life is heavy that it will crush u to pieces.
or if its so bright that u feel numb and cold.
even its so colorful but yet to ur eyes, its just another black n white.
happiness surrounds u.
dwelling to our deepest past.
and sumhow we are left with a tinge of fear.
fear of being abandone.
fear of being alone and lonely.
fear of sleeping and waking up with no one around us.
sounds like panic attack ey.
but having anxiety disorder is far more worth than having a silent struggle in u.
a struggle so huge that u wish it will dissapear right now in any how.
looking at the past. at the lies.
i blame no one at the end.
because in the end, its like blaming God.
who am i to question His decision.
His decision is the best. n believe it!
i choose to settle down.
i choose to live for my creator's pleasure.
i wish these eyes of mine could see only the goodness of other creations.
but at the same time this soul stay guard of other evils that may love to see
us destroy. bit by bit. and nonetheless, all wont happen by Allah's permission.
so, why afraid?
why the sad face?
la tahzan.Allah is near.closer than close.
insyaAllah:)
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
ada apa
u know wut,
sometimes,
u tak perlu tau pon, wut happened, why... when, how..
bcoz it won't change anything pon. u'll even feel much worst. damaged. hurt. broken..
dat is why there are secrets.
=)
there is always the right time to spill the beans.
there are the moments that Allah knew u will be ready to face!
what ever the reason is...
although its kind of ironic to talk bad about other ppl about something that u urself is having...
dey say, have a look in the mirror first before saying bad about others. but i guess, we are forgetful humans. we even forget wut we are like, what we were,
reality bites, we are not perfect, we are just human beings,
not GOD! not angels!
i just wanted to be me.
not more.
not less.
a me who loves me and loves the ones who loves her creator...
Bisikku pada bulan
Kembalikan Syurgaku
Bulan, jangan biar siang
Biar alam ini kelam
Biar ia sepi...
sometimes,
u tak perlu tau pon, wut happened, why... when, how..
bcoz it won't change anything pon. u'll even feel much worst. damaged. hurt. broken..
dat is why there are secrets.
=)
there is always the right time to spill the beans.
there are the moments that Allah knew u will be ready to face!
what ever the reason is...
although its kind of ironic to talk bad about other ppl about something that u urself is having...
dey say, have a look in the mirror first before saying bad about others. but i guess, we are forgetful humans. we even forget wut we are like, what we were,
reality bites, we are not perfect, we are just human beings,
not GOD! not angels!
i just wanted to be me.
not more.
not less.
a me who loves me and loves the ones who loves her creator...
Bisikku pada bulan
Kembalikan Syurgaku
Bulan, jangan biar siang
Biar alam ini kelam
Biar ia sepi...
happy
escape.evacuate.
cud not describe of how important i felt we were in that grand ward round room.
unbelievable! awesome and etc.
the fact that i purposely forgot that i am just a student and pretend for several seconds that i am just one of them (read: specialist, consultant psychiatrist!) is some thing that i never never in the back of mind, could ever ever imagine and think of! and im glad im did. i did say something. and im more glad that this taiko and otai ppl are more than willing to listen..
its a nice feeling i think. im not sure. after all, im just learning. we all are. hopefully.
fuuuh. and even aliah said, bro, i think u shud become a specialist like them one day, dey debate/discuss among themselves like mad.. (for the sake of patient of course) which makes me terharu bcoz i nvr think or see it that way...
hurm.
but the truth is i am not sure to pursue with what i like or what i feel that i have to do..
one is sth that u love to do..
and another one is sth that u do for the sake of love..
i hope i cud love what i do.. no matter what Allah's plan for me is..
insyaAllah..
and yes, thank you aliah for making me come to grand ward round today.
we learnt a lot dun we? 3 cases, from 2.30 untill 6 pm!
=)
somatoform disorder,
delusional disorder secondary to ICE,
and finally OCD + panic disorder.
i am one happy gurl today, ok.
so happy!
=)
cud not describe of how important i felt we were in that grand ward round room.
unbelievable! awesome and etc.
the fact that i purposely forgot that i am just a student and pretend for several seconds that i am just one of them (read: specialist, consultant psychiatrist!) is some thing that i never never in the back of mind, could ever ever imagine and think of! and im glad im did. i did say something. and im more glad that this taiko and otai ppl are more than willing to listen..
its a nice feeling i think. im not sure. after all, im just learning. we all are. hopefully.
fuuuh. and even aliah said, bro, i think u shud become a specialist like them one day, dey debate/discuss among themselves like mad.. (for the sake of patient of course) which makes me terharu bcoz i nvr think or see it that way...
hurm.
but the truth is i am not sure to pursue with what i like or what i feel that i have to do..
one is sth that u love to do..
and another one is sth that u do for the sake of love..
i hope i cud love what i do.. no matter what Allah's plan for me is..
insyaAllah..
and yes, thank you aliah for making me come to grand ward round today.
we learnt a lot dun we? 3 cases, from 2.30 untill 6 pm!
=)
somatoform disorder,
delusional disorder secondary to ICE,
and finally OCD + panic disorder.
i am one happy gurl today, ok.
so happy!
=)
Monday, September 20, 2010
its only beginning...
its easier to cry. its easier to see other ppls happiness. its easier to say and stumble upon ur words. its okay. sumtimes u need a little push, a little rough tide, a little bounce out of the blue. fine now, its a great day. why the sad face. why the fear. free urself from the prison. break free. dont be afraid. thou the future seems bleak but remember those times, when they show u the way of happiness and truth.. mayb dey won't remember but u do and it dosent matter if ur hurt coz i knoe ur rather be hurt than feeling nothing at all, ur rather be hurt than being happy and others r not.. oh paradigm, shift swiftly left and right. will u be faster and run against the time. hey u, stop the smiling face. but dont listen to me. keep smiling. at least it brighten my world. for no reason. owh, i wish i could float and not sink like a titanic, deep deep down burying all my memories which u cant take it away from me... and its like little treasures to me. i might sound weird. i might be sick. but i know i m recovering. i am better. i realize who i am. i realize how painful u are.but please hold on.... Allah is always, always near~ =)
i get more than i want...
cinta sempurna, yuna.
haha. it sounded so nice to me.
its hard actually.
to tell the truth.
especially because we knew that the person who will hear it wud not be ready of what we'll say.
but we grow up from being hurt.
we cry not only because we are sad but to grow stronger as well.
its hard. its not easy to face the truth.
its easier said than done. but once u face it, perhaps its still possible that u cn get better.
insyaAllah.
although it might felt heavy but once ur able to let go, once u knew that ur not broken nor shattered, that this world is just mere temporary, well it could like its nothing anymore.
life must go on!
at least u grow up from this misery.
and all of a sudden, hey, its a new day, its a new you!
sunshine is gone, but not for long.. iA.
;)
haha. it sounded so nice to me.
its hard actually.
to tell the truth.
especially because we knew that the person who will hear it wud not be ready of what we'll say.
but we grow up from being hurt.
we cry not only because we are sad but to grow stronger as well.
its hard. its not easy to face the truth.
its easier said than done. but once u face it, perhaps its still possible that u cn get better.
insyaAllah.
although it might felt heavy but once ur able to let go, once u knew that ur not broken nor shattered, that this world is just mere temporary, well it could like its nothing anymore.
life must go on!
at least u grow up from this misery.
and all of a sudden, hey, its a new day, its a new you!
sunshine is gone, but not for long.. iA.
;)
Thursday, September 9, 2010
marah
sept 11.
a systematic planned tragedy of the Zionist!
2nd day of raya...
and suddenly there is unhuman human who wanted to burn our holy book, Quran...
melampau sgt nie.
mengucap panjang ana...
ini pasti ujian Allah terhadap hamba2nya.
am so disgusted with this person--> Florida pastor Terry Jones' plan to commemorate Sept. 11 by burning copies of the Quran
Saturday, September 4, 2010
lemangs ketupats
entah apa-apa.
me and everyone else i.e u know who u are..
1. my anger snap syndrome is killing me. please lah transformers skit. tak cantik langsung snap anger mode. haih. and im not even on red days. argh! annoyed, annoyed by own self...
2. seeing other ppl snapping madly to other ppl make me have a very bad impression as well. and dis time, suprisingly, not to the particular eruptic ppl but to my ownself..
man, dis must be the condition i am like when i activate my torpedo+volcano launching in action. i really-really-really think that its so not cool to be in a marah-marah mode. which is never a cool thing to do at the very beginning anyway..
3. on the another note, i think being campak to T makes me realize of my limitation towards certain humans. haih. tewas berapa kali dah nie. Ya Allah, biar betul nieh. so dun understand lah. entah. gasak lah. asal i ok and im not hurt. ameen.
4. dr Bad is awesome wey. so fatherly figure, ok. so so so gonna miss him nanti after i finish T posting. huhu. until one point, me and bro Aliaaaa thinks that its so cool to have a husband by the job specialist named psychiatrist..
but again, if he turns out to be all the time psycho-ing us, then.. hurm, any soleh man would do, ya Allah, and in particulary, ... (u know who, kan? hee. thanks. )
5. clashes of dates for communtiy project. hope there is light fast out of dis..
by the way, u know what, i felt kind of annoyed with ppl who x not appreciate other ppl's humble opinion/suggestion.. hello, that is why we have meetings and diskusi lah wey, if not, baik veto jerh. haa, kan tak tau veto tuh apa!
see, i snap kan?
ergh.
6. raya vs puasa.
personally dis is my far, the best puasa sbb i manage to do more. but then again, in Islam, its not necessarily your quantity but your quality in doing sth for the sake of Allah is outfar much much much more important!
hurm.. less than a week already isnt it.
lailatul qadar search mode, activated ya, not yet evacuation..
but some ppl and i mean, a lot of us have from the beginning surrender from the hunt of 1000 bulan ganjaran nie. hurm. tepuk dada tanya iman. dah besar. u think laa deeper sikit. asyik surface jerh. asyik hoo-haa jerh. hurm~
me and everyone else i.e u know who u are..
1. my anger snap syndrome is killing me. please lah transformers skit. tak cantik langsung snap anger mode. haih. and im not even on red days. argh! annoyed, annoyed by own self...
2. seeing other ppl snapping madly to other ppl make me have a very bad impression as well. and dis time, suprisingly, not to the particular eruptic ppl but to my ownself..
man, dis must be the condition i am like when i activate my torpedo+volcano launching in action. i really-really-really think that its so not cool to be in a marah-marah mode. which is never a cool thing to do at the very beginning anyway..
3. on the another note, i think being campak to T makes me realize of my limitation towards certain humans. haih. tewas berapa kali dah nie. Ya Allah, biar betul nieh. so dun understand lah. entah. gasak lah. asal i ok and im not hurt. ameen.
4. dr Bad is awesome wey. so fatherly figure, ok. so so so gonna miss him nanti after i finish T posting. huhu. until one point, me and bro Aliaaaa thinks that its so cool to have a husband by the job specialist named psychiatrist..
but again, if he turns out to be all the time psycho-ing us, then.. hurm, any soleh man would do, ya Allah, and in particulary, ... (u know who, kan? hee. thanks. )
5. clashes of dates for communtiy project. hope there is light fast out of dis..
by the way, u know what, i felt kind of annoyed with ppl who x not appreciate other ppl's humble opinion/suggestion.. hello, that is why we have meetings and diskusi lah wey, if not, baik veto jerh. haa, kan tak tau veto tuh apa!
see, i snap kan?
ergh.
6. raya vs puasa.
personally dis is my far, the best puasa sbb i manage to do more. but then again, in Islam, its not necessarily your quantity but your quality in doing sth for the sake of Allah is outfar much much much more important!
hurm.. less than a week already isnt it.
lailatul qadar search mode, activated ya, not yet evacuation..
but some ppl and i mean, a lot of us have from the beginning surrender from the hunt of 1000 bulan ganjaran nie. hurm. tepuk dada tanya iman. dah besar. u think laa deeper sikit. asyik surface jerh. asyik hoo-haa jerh. hurm~
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