dearest shashu..
hows life.. i knoe its been long since i called u. or write to u. im juz confuse myself.. as much as u r. dun worry.. life is hard. of course. but it would be a lot harder if u dun live it up.. dun let the others, let u down.. dont allow them.. never. so what if u r not lady D, or body perfect or genius straight As.. so what, shuu? it dosent matter to me as long ur comfortable in being u. rite? well, its deir lost if dey find u not updated or oldy or wut not. juz be u. dats at least, u cn do for ur own sake.. n wut does matter is act wut Allah wud thnk about u.. rite? so, wut wud Allah be thnkng bout u, huh? hv u go thru today better than yesterdy?
well, to tell u d truth, iv been having some confusion, u see. as much s ur confuse either to let go or stay.. im confuse of life and how easily influence i am to d ppl around me. take for example when a fren, (u knoe whch one..;)) complaints to me about a lecturer, well, i shud juz listen, rite? im so mad wif myself.. i shud gv her/him a gud example. not to back stab or say bad thngs about ur teacher.. but i ended up being joining and adding up where necessary to hr complaints! haiyo.. ape cer nie.. mn leh mcm nie woo. haih!
owh, mun is getting married u knoe.. i felt like iv lost a part of me, but i need to let her go.. she needs to go.. to fly. to a better place.. i wish i cud only be hpy for hr.. but i cant help in being sad, bcoz she wont be der for me.. not dat much anymore, as she'l be busy with a new life. living with a new someone.. its always about me, isnt it? i alwez felt im the victim.. im the loosing side. and i dun thnk about the othr side. how does she feel.. or sumtimes, how do u feel.. whch im sori as well, shash.. der r times, i broke my promises. or mayb almost all d time. im alwez punctual for other ppl. but for u, the nearest fren of me, i juz delay. delay in everything. esp d gus ones...
im sori. thou i knoe i shall b forgiven, but still, i need u to let go of it.. of those confusions. of those hate, jealousy and selfishness whch i knoe, its not like u meant it, but as much as i let go of the thngs i wish i cud, but cud not; i wish n hope that ur much stronger than i am.. which u are! and will alwez be! :)
luv, ME..
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