smileee

mix feelings.

collision of thoughts.
one day im fine. one day im not.
im searching for Allah in every inch of my heart.
afraid that i wont find Him.that im lost.
but our creator is always der. always.
no matter when u feel that life is heavy that it will crush u to pieces.
or if its so bright that u feel numb and cold.
even its so colorful but yet to ur eyes, its just another black n white.
happiness surrounds u.
dwelling to our deepest past.
and sumhow we are left with a tinge of fear.
fear of being abandone.
fear of being alone and lonely.
fear of sleeping and waking up with no one around us.
sounds like panic attack ey.
but having anxiety disorder is far more worth than having a silent struggle in u.
a struggle so huge that u wish it will dissapear right now in any how.
looking at the past. at the lies.
i blame no one at the end.
because in the end, its like blaming God.
who am i to question His decision.
His decision is the best. n believe it!
i choose to settle down.
i choose to live for my creator's pleasure.
i wish these eyes of mine could see only the goodness of other creations.
but at the same time this soul stay guard of other evils that may love to see
us destroy. bit by bit. and nonetheless, all wont happen by Allah's permission.
so, why afraid?
why the sad face?
la tahzan.Allah is near.closer than close.
insyaAllah:)

as-salam-mualaikum.....

assalamualaikum makcik, sy shahirah dari Cyberjy Uni College of Medical Sciences, nak buat survey lah tahap kesihatan penduduk kawasan taman nie.. (padahal pre-test jerh), boleh benarkan sy tanya makcik beberapa soalan..(ada 148 soalan kot. haha)

----makcik ada menonton rancangan televisyen drama mcm cerekarama, etc?
makcik selalu tgk AXN, CSI, discovery channel... (muka separa terkejut, impress..) owh..bagusnya makcik.. aah, makcik minat tgk.. -------



assalammualaikum......
waalaikumsalam..

makcik, kami dr pejabat kesihatan, nak buat pemeriksaan pembiakan aedes di kawasan belakang dan hadapan rumah makcik.. mohon kerjasamalah..

p/s: nyamuk aedes hanya membiak dgn air bersih jerh.. yg tenang dan tak mengalir..

berhabuk

and maybe i might be me again. a better me. amin.

monday, 5th Oct, 8.30 til 9. 15.. exam kat ward 2A! gudluck shahirah. u cn do it!

i live to eat ;)

22nd june-8.36 pm.

went to doc's salmi son's wedding..

i wore pink. una wore blue. abah n mak wore coklat. oh well, we look handsome.. despite my jerawat yg tak segan silu inlammation kat epidermis, go on.. i dun gv a damn.. maybe risau pasal duet. oh duet, di manakah kau..

nway, back to tmn sri ukay--> putrajaya, at de sri endon sth.. tapi sri endon kat putrajy lah nama tempt tuh.. grand giler. tapi syg x ramai yg datang..

the young man man wore smashing handsome black and his wife wore lawa giler baju pengantin tuh aku pon nak-marron lace jarang tapi tutup aurat cover dgn kaen marroon.. wah, sgt shantik ok.. padan dgn org yg pki..
dah lah both 2nd year nak msk 3rd year.

gulp! which means, like im getting married next year? wut d f? cool lah jodoh awal kan. hee. doctors (well, most of my proffessors, or all of u?) kahwin masa 2nd ord 3rd year..

tabah gle.. aku bgn pagi pon malas.. jgn harap aku nk masak or basuh bj ke hape.. erk. read:totally not ready and tak nak pon(xde calon lg la wey.haha.)
nway, start wif a bit dragging of the emcee. makcik over! sorri makcik. over tetap over tapi tudung u glam. i like!

ade doc mashitah.. cun gle body dia.. husband dia really looks like doc salmi, hee. and ade gak doc fadzilah kamsah.. chef liza.. hurm.. sape lagi. as usual, encik mail and his wife! wee, biase gle doc tuh, respect seyh.. padahal ketua doctor kat hospital besar kedah.. pergh.

am imagining where am i in few years to come..

oh well, the tempat bersanding wus so grand yet simple..
gosh, aku nak hell tangkap gambar kat situ tapi mcm over lah plak. hee.
lupa plak nk tangkap gambar kat gerbang dgn si una.. tak pa lah, nxt time org kawen mintak2 lah ada gerbang.. hee..
the couple wus so sweet. naek tangge, duduk, sume pgg tgn.. hee. br lah sehati sejiwa ya dak.. heh.

nway, i wus imagining his face right der beside me.. gosh! bye2 lah him.my jejake impian wishing list perfectly fit bla3..
sbb kalo aku terbyg org tuh slalunya bukan dia..
ala, beranagn jap.. tak salah kott..
perasaan yg tiba2 dtg tanpa kehendak aku.. haha. ala,susah lah kalo dgn dia pon. we are so different..
but i like him nway.love kot. cinta dia kerna cintaku pada allah. serius it feels like dat, heh. luv him for making me change and saying the things that i wanted a real man said to a lost gurl. heh.

oh well, better luck next time!

chup! foodsss!!! agak sama lah dgn food yg ade kat majlis kahwin org lain but the dessert wus superb.. nak aje aku cilok msk dlm hangbag byk2. hehe. puding karamel.. waaa. nak lg! ade nasi ape ntah, tapi sedap, then kambend ade, ayam ade, daging ade, sweet n sour fish ade, iksh2. sedap2. i tambah 2x. hee. smpi abg waiter tuh kalo nk bg food kat meja 24 mesti sua kat aku dulu.. haih bang, perli nampk.. naseb muke mcm anas(my oledi 2nd fav man. heh. idop lagi kah?) so xde lah bad mood sgt, hee.. see, hati sy kecik tau.. haa. merajuk tak lama..


lalala! iksh. nak kawen laa... nak mkn? haha ;)