HB!

nah, present anti. complication of last year's thoughts.
:)


saya punya banyak impian yang saya sendiri leraikan
kerna kudrat saya selalu memilih untuk berehat
misi-misi yang belum selesai
memerlukan hati yang perlu dibuka
dan dinding yang perlu diruntuh

akulah hirisan-hirisan anak muda
yang hanya mahu tahu apa yang aku suka
dan rasa jengkel dengan rumit dunia berputar

i felt so clouded somehow.
why i just could not accept things.
especially on Allah's secret...
Allah hide for a very very goodest reason...
He Knows it of course.
that if we know things that we want to know now,
then its not life anymore.
that's a drama.
and life is not a scripted drama.
it does not need a script.
because Allah is the writer and Allah is the best of all writer!
He is!

dear, keep the past as a part of u.
cherish the good moments.
be thankful for the bad ones.
life is not merely only for today.
its indeed a journey.
bekalan untuk hari-hari yang abadi nanti...
lets never give up in fighting our truest enemy of all...
: u knoe who!:

alhamdulillah. Rasullulah have said it, "Berselisih faham di kalangan umatku itu adalah satu rahmat." (Riwayat Al Baihaqi). i appreciate differences. we are all the same eventually, as we all have differences especially in the way we are brought up.

the past has been a mistake
which she is glad that it happened
cause things happened for a reason
and if that reason involves her getting nearer to her creator
she will gladly accept
no pain no gain
she agrees
she nodded
she smile
she is happy

well, at least there is still tomorrow.
we will never know. as for today, she may just wanna smile while hearing to taylor's song entitled mine. without even needing to have any spesific who.

23
hari ini
sama atau tidak dengan hari yang lain
bukan soalnya
kerna hari ini
hari bertambahnya angka
dan betapa masa berganti begitu deras
perlu teguh dan lebih kukuh
dalam melayari onak duri kehidupan
kadang-kala alpa dan cuai
sahabat pun silih ganti
yang berharga bersinar
yang kelam kesam
walau tinggi mana sayap terbang
lembut tanah tak pernah jauh
deretan kisah-kisah lama kembali
lalu kita menangis dan ketawa sekali
mengenang kenangan
jatuh bangun hari ini dan semalam
harapan bisa terhapus
dan cita-cita bisa padam
kata-kata dilupakan
perbuatan baik tidak dihirau
namun itulah realiti
inilah dunia yang sementara
sementara kita masih bernafas
marilah menghirup kebenaran
dan memperjuangkan harapan
biarlah kalah di sini sekalipun
kerna kita bijaksana
dan tak perlu bijaksini saja

hari ini akan berlalu
dan yang hidup akan hidup
yang mati senyap sepi
yang tinggal, ayuh bangkit
ummah memerlukan kita
walau itu pun mereka tak sedar
hulurkan lah tangan
moga hari ini berakhir dgn tenang
setenang air di kali
membasahi hati dan nurani
ameen ya Rab bal ala min...

ill

its ok. everything will be fine, insyaAllah. there are things i cannot handle. like this fever that comes and go. this headache. this pain. this cough. its ok. InsyaAllah jadi kifarah dosa.

tempoh hari had 4 days attachment in clinic zubir, its a fair share, i guess. Allah yg tentukan semua ni. Ada hikmah...

ada apa

u know wut,
sometimes,
u tak perlu tau pon, wut happened, why... when, how..

bcoz it won't change anything pon. u'll even feel much worst. damaged. hurt. broken..

dat is why there are secrets.

=)

there is always the right time to spill the beans.

there are the moments that Allah knew u will be ready to face!

what ever the reason is...

although its kind of ironic to talk bad about other ppl about something that u urself is having...

dey say, have a look in the mirror first before saying bad about others. but i guess, we are forgetful humans. we even forget wut we are like, what we were,
reality bites, we are not perfect, we are just human beings,
not GOD! not angels!

i just wanted to be me.
not more.
not less.

a me who loves me and loves the ones who loves her creator...


Bisikku pada bulan
Kembalikan Syurgaku
Bulan, jangan biar siang
Biar alam ini kelam
Biar ia sepi...

bestest help

bateri..

in life, well, spesifically, a human functions by a bateri that Allah have long instil in us. the bateri could be a lot of things, cud be a collection of a lot of entities.

you can say,the bateri compromise of love, appreciation, your heart beating, your mind running free, mental health, sanity, etc etc.
what the bateri is in us, is not that important but wut is significant is that what if the bateri dies , without actually even reaching its expired date??

well, most of the time, we can call a mechanic if our car bateri died, or bought a new bateri if our little cousin's mainan car dun move nemo..

but how about us? some parts of our bateri can died temporarily and could even forever die if we let it and dun call out for help..

wow, there is a help.. and that is what i am learning now.. pscychiatry!

of course, our bestest help is from ALLAH. the creator of the bateri.. at the very begining!

=)

Tak Patut...

mana superhero kau?

melihat hari-hariku yang sedih pada apa yang aku tiada
menyelinap rasa dosa..

kerna aku seolah-olah menafikan

dengan banyaknya yang aku sudah ada

orang lain tiada ayah,tiada ibu

aku ada, aku kenal, dan mereka sayang padaku

orang lain tiada makanan bersepah berlambak
aku boleh mati kekenyangan

orang lain naik bus naik motor jalan kaki, bimbang hujan dipanah terik
aku ada MyVi

orang lain tiada duit nak ke sekolah , sekolah ku hebat, cukup serba serbi kemudahan..

orang lain sakit itu ini terlantar beribu-ribu di hospital, aku sihat Alhamdulilah

orang lain dah disoal dengan mungkar dan nakir,aku masih sedar kerdilnya aku di bumi Allah

orang lain hilang maruah

aku masih pelihara, insyaAllah

orang lain jadi mangsa Ah Long, haruan makan anak, dan berhadapan dengan ujian si syaitan bertopeng manusia... aku tidak, masih belum... jauhkanlah Ya Allah...

orang lain sudah tersimpang jauh, buang tudung, berbaju telanjang
aku tak hendak itu semua! terima kasih~

dan banyak lagi yang orang tiada

yang aku ada

senangnya ku ngomel rasa perit

Malunya aku depan Allah
dah diberi macam-macam dan tak diberi macam-macam...

tapi tetap complaint!

tak patut, tak patut!

:shashu:

sgt!

im 22 not yet.
i luv to b me.
i thot iv changed but now And then the spirit juz worn out. i keep forgetting the important things in life, keep holding on to false hopes, keep trying to impress the ppl dat i shud hv said gudbye long ago, and sumhow im tired to smile already..

tired of faith. tired of love. tired of hopes.

its easy for me to fall for sumone..
cuz im not complicated at all..
only things become twisted when i realize that its wrong to be simple..

oh well, matter of definitions, ey? i hv a very broad definitions of life that sumhow i keep forgetting and allow myself to cramp in darkness like nobody cares..

i live for today.. sumtimes trap in the past and sumtimes not at all woorying bout tomorrow..
i dunno y, but my worries r lesser nowdays.. i dun worry much nemore like i used to.. i juz dun gv a damn..

i dunno and i dun care--i said dis to a fren when she asked me about wats the layers of the foot.. and i felt so confident. haha. like im telling the truth without even have to hide that i dunno and yet i dun care..

owh. watever. im a new me everyday=)

revisited describing me in facebook. (i told u, i xde keje... ;) )

not again

yes,yes. i wus wrong, but so wut?

wus i stupid enuf to do it if i knew it wus wrong? and u thot i wus wrong. i wus a failure. but i dun thnk i am.
and i dun bother wut u thnk bout me. u dun even bother to help. so now y concern?

hellooo, i hv nothng against u lah, as usual, ur alwez right.. alwez. sokmo betol. fine! but wut irritated me d most wus that i wus not that eager either lah. i dun thnk so!

i wus playing wif time till sumone real enuf came along.. not that im telling ur fake but u are! u are anyway. takut bayang2 sendri. oh yes, acted over frenly like u knoe who we r afte several days together? helllooo.. 21 years lah babe. xde lah bodo sgt nak predict. fine, im big enuf to tell lah. and im so glad well, at least i knew that u knew wuts goin on.. and i wish u all de best.

ow yes, all the best!!!!

no assumption no accusation

boleh?

like i can predict the future

damn, its like nearly 4am oledi and my otak is still thinking lah..

tgk frenster nisah tadi.. she looks so young, kulit bersih gitu, better than time kat coll i believe.. and much2 slimmer.. hee..

and wat struck me as i scroll down her happy pics with her twins bro and waba wubi wus dat how unpredictable life is.. nisah wus der till f3 and she bid farewell time f4.. heh,

nway, when i think bck all my failures in life, and the biggest wud b of course myn spm result(no offence, cgp..haha) nway, wat wus past will remain past.. we hv now, n shud i move foward, shud i.. hee.. remembering paaiza's philosophy:
frm the eyes' of the fish in d bowl, we humans lover of the so called nature are juz one pemangse and for us of course lah we hv no harm against that cute lil fish, rite.. so, what we c may be deceiving nway.. ape yg kite nampak tuh tak semestinye ape yg kite nmpak.. get me? hehe..

so, batas iman dan pengalaman je lah jadi taruhan.. marilah menambah ilmu pengetahuan kerna dgn ilmu tuh jugak lah dpt kite perolehi kejayaan di dunia dan akhirat..

allah hu alam..
sekian~ tazkirah pagi.. hehe;)