mode: destroy

its weird when the pro n cons are fighting in urself. u began to hv sleepless nite. and having dangling doubts around ur head. which u wish it will bury itself. digging its own grave. basically, the basic stuff are so easy and yet i find nothing interests me anymore. mayb depression of wuts happening around and the unability of myself to catch upis the worst enemy that i can deal with now. i find myself being selfish and unsensitive. i find myself attach to all sorts of undefined circumstances which i love to escaped out of it. being a doctor has become a burden to me due to many reason perhaps. i know. in a state of where i am now, going back is not an option. but i wish i could. deep down, turn back and ask myself, wut do really wanna do... precisely no idea i guess. or actually i was denied being someone that i wanted to. nobody cares to know anyway. but i know, i have nobody to be blame of. i just need a miracle right now. a miracle out of this mess....